Happy Birthday Mom

This year, as every year since she passed away in 2006, her birthday is the hardest time of the year for me. See, November 28th is was her birthday and she would have been 65 this year. She should be here celebrating with us. Her birthday is on her favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. She LOVES this holiday like no other. She loves turkey and dressing. Mashed potato’s and the fixings. My grandma usually baked her a Carrot cake. Especially, if it fell on her birthday. This year, it falls again on her birthday.

So, this year, we are eating all of Mom’s favorites. Right down to the cake.
I love you Mom!


18 and Life

Is now just beginning for my daughter. Well, sorta. As a teen parent, her life as an adult began the day she gave birth to her daughter Jacklynn. But now as a legal adult, she can legally set out in this world to accomplish many a great thing. Or, she can choose to sit on behind and do nothing.

To be honest, I did not see her life come to this point. But, she has a strong will power. She can use that for a number of things. She can finish her getting her high school education by grabbing her GED and head off to a local college to get her degree in nursing, she can find a job and work till she can afford to move to an area that she rather go to school in, or just work. All of which are acceptable to me and her dad. What is not acceptable is not living for Christ.

Now to be honest and fair, Jamie and I have not been the model parents for someone to want to follow Christ. We have failed terribly. We have run the whole gamut of Christianity. We have not at all lived like Christians. We have been the Sunday only Christians, and we have pretended to be Christians in hoping it would stick. As parents, we have done a great disservice to Casey and her brothers. We never set a high standard to achieve. We did not make them read their bibles or even attend church. We were what the church calls a dead Christian. We are saved and I know that Casey is saved. I know she has a home in heaven.

I want to publicly apologize to my daughter.  I have ruined her life. I was not a great mother. I did not protect her from certain things and we allowed far too much of the world in our home. For that, I am so sorry Casey. To you and to your brothers. I know I have told that to them, but now I am telling the world that I am a bad mom.

Casey is 18 today.

She is still my princess. I can still see in my mind’s eye, Casey at 2 looking at me with her hands on her hips telling me, ” my name is NOT Casey, it is Princess.”  Casey said, she was the princess of the world. She was and is still the princess of my world. I would do anything to help her to overcome the stigma of being a teen mom. I would gladly take away any tears she might shed. I love her so very much. I know she can do so much in this life for Christ, and for her daughter. I pray daily for her to walk the right road, to not follow in my footsteps. To want better for herself and her daughter. I pray daily for a Godly young man to walk into Casey’s life.

I pray daily for her and I to become close. We do not have a close relationship and that I am afraid is my fault. I am more like my mom than I care to admit. My mom was not the nurturing type. She was happy to just sit in front and watch the tv. I am not a big tv watcher, but there are other things I have put in front of God and my children. All that has been ending and I am sorry that it has taken this long.

Ginger Barber Photography | Senior PhotoI totally monopolized this post about things that don’t really matter to anyone but myself. Today is Casey’s birthday. For dinner, we are eating fried chicken, mashed potato’s, flaky biscuits  and fruit of some sort. She gets to hang out for the last time of her life at our house and do nothing. See, the kids in our home, on their birthdays do not have to do anything. No chores, no cooking, no cleaning, no schoolwork and such. It is a good day for them.

If you think of it, pray for her! Pray that she will get on fire for God. Get on fire for being a good mama. Pray for her to do well with whatever she decides to do.

Dear Casey…

I love you more than you will ever know. You are my Princess and my firecracker. You can make me smile on the bleakest days. I love you!