So, it is 2:30 in the morning and I am backing up my computer to erase everything on it and start over. It has been running a bit weird lately and so, I think a fresh install will do it some wonders.
While I was doing this, I got to thinking of my life. I realized how much control some stuff that I was in had of my life. Like, I depended on other people to tell me if I am doing ok, or if I am a huge screw up. While it is not their fault. it became more of an issue.
See, I am not a very private person. I have no problems telling you about my life, my entire life. While, some like it, most do not. I am realizing that I was using certain things as a crutch in my life. While friends are great to build you up, some are quick to tear you down. And it became a roller coaster ride. Some days it was up, and some days is was down.
Instead of turning to God for my problems and opening up my bible to see the answers, I was going to places such as Facebook or Twitter. While advice is good, if it is not met with biblical principal, it is not always “good”.
So, I had to dump. Dumping the things that got in the way of me and my God and me and my family. I started to view my life as some horrid life because we do things a bit different then the norm. I started to have a more negative view on my children and my husband. Because they did not meet the expectations of what I had in my mind for them. Same with me. I did not meet the expectations of what I had of me. I stayed in my room so I can be involved with online stuff. And while the folks are great, I got too involved online that I did in my home. Again. That is my fault. I am not dumping friends, but I did dump a lot of other things. So, I dumped.
I turn my chat off on FB now. I still answer messages as they come in, I can choose more to look at it later or then and there. I get a notification on my phone. I spend more time on FB through my phone now. Which is a lot less than I did even a week ago. While I cleaned my home, my home is far from where it needs to be.
I am feeling more confident in what I am doing. I am not looking for approval. If I ask an opinion on FB, it is just that, an opinion.
I am dumping soda, again. It is just so stink’n addictive. So, instead of even having it when we eat out, I am either going to do water or sweet tea. Soda, is just too addictive for me. I start to drink a soda, then I start to eat foods I don’t want to eat. I just do not seem to have that button in my life that I can hit when I have had enough.
I am dumping my sedentary lifestyle. We have been taking more walks as a family.
At least when it is not cold out.
But as a family, we have been walking more. I have some video’s to use when the weather is not hot. I also will have a vehicle here so I can hope over to the church in the center of town and use their workout room and take part in their free classes to get fit. I want to dump this current version of me. I want a new and improved and healthy me. My kids deserve that, my husband does. And by golly, so do I.
I will also be going back on my BP meds and my Metformin for the PCOS. As of last year, I did not have diabetes. I don’t want it if I don’t have it now. I want to be there for Jacklynn,
I want more children.
Yes, I said it.
Jamie and I would love more babies.
But, only if God sends them. We will not use any interventions. I am content with my four that I have. So, intervention is not needed.
Now, if God deems us to have more, I will gladly, GLADLY have more precious arrows.
So back to dumping… It takes forever to back up to DVD’s. I need a new external and plan on grabbing one or two here in the next week or so.
I am not dumping this blog, in fact, I am trying to resurrect the thing. I have about 3-6 reviews coming up. I have a lot of cleaning to do on it. It might move to its own domain.
Like I said, I am not dumping this old friend.