Divorce Agreement

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.” I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

IN GOD WE TRUST

Another one stolen from Lisa!!!

Obama…. Hmmmm

President Obama

SOME OF YOU WILL APPRECIATE THIS
AND SOME OF YOU WILL NOT.

I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR ANY OF THIS
BECAUSE ALL OF IT IS TRUE.

If any other of our presidents
had doubled the National Debt, which
had taken more than two centuries
to accumulate, in one year,
would You have Approved?

If any other of our presidents
had then proposed to Double
the debt again within 10 years,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had criticized a State Law that
he admitted he never even read,
would you think that he is
just an ignorant hot Head?

If any other of our presidents
joined the country of Mexico and sued a
State in the United States to force that State
to continue to allow Illegal Immigration,
would you question his patriotism
and wonder who’s side he was on?

If any other of our presidents
had pronounced the Marine Corps
as if it were the Marine Corpse,
would you think him an Idiot?

If any other of our presidents
had put 87,000 workers out of work
by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on
offshore oil drilling on companies that have
one of the best safety records of any industry
because one foreign company had an accident,
would you have agreed?

If any other of our presidents
had used a forged document as the
basis of the moratorium that would render
87000 American workers unemployed,
would you support him?

If any other of our presidents
had been the first President to need a
teleprompter installed to be able to get through
a press conference, would you have laughed and said
this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is
really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?

If any other of our presidents
had spent hundreds of thousands of Dollars
to take his First Lady to a play in NYC,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had reduced your retirement plan holdings
of GM stock by 90% and given the
unions a majority stake in GM,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had made a joke at the expense
of the Special Olympics,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive
and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown
had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had given the Queen of England an
IPod containing videos of his speeches,
would you have thought it to be a
proud moment for America ?

If any other of our presidents
had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia ,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had visited Austria and made reference
to the nonexistent “Austrian language,”
would you have brushed it off
as a minor slip?

If any other of our presidents
had filled his Cabinet and circle of
Advisers with people who cannot seem
to keep current on their Income Taxes,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had stated that there were 57 states in
the United States , wouldn’t you have had
second thoughts about his capabilities?

If any other of our presidents
would have flown all the way to Denmark
to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics
would benefit him walking out his front door in his
home town, would you not have thought he was
a self-important, conceited, egotistical jerk?

If any other of our presidents
had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to
“Cinco de Cuatro” in front of the Mexican ambassador
when it was “The 5th of May” (Cinco de Mayo),
and then continue to flub it when he tried again,
wouldn’t you have winced in embarrassment?

If any other of our presidents
had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel
to go plant a single tree on Earth Day,
would you have concluded he’s a Hypocrite?

If any other of our presidents’
Administrations had okayed Air Force One
flying low over millions of people followed by
a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing
widespread panic, would you have wondered
whether they actually get what happened on 9-11?

If any other of our presidents
had failed to send relief aid to flood victims
throughout the Midwest, with more people killed
or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you
want it made into a major ongoing Political issue
with claims of racism and incompetence?

If any other of our presidents
had created the positions of 32 Czars
who report directly to him, bypassing
the House and Senate on much of
what is happening in America ,
would you have approved?

If any other of our presidents
had ordered the firing of the CEO
of a major corporation, even though he
had no constitutional authority to do so,
would you have approved?

So, tell me again,
what is it about Obama that
makes him so brilliant and impressive?

Can’t think of anything?
Then you’d better start worrying.
He’s done all these things in 28 months —
and you have less than 19 months
to come up with an answer.

Every statement and action in this email
is factual and correctly attributable
to Barrack Hussein Obama.
Every bumble is a matter of record
and completely verifiable.

“All it takes for evil to triumph
is for good men to do nothing.”

I borrowedstole this from Lisa. Thanks Lisa!!!!